quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
