my soul wont recognize me after tonight
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
