I'm really into asian looking animals
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
