yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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