He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
