I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
