I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
