The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
