There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
