What did we do last night that was yellow?
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
