scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
