I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
