I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
You were trust falling into bushes
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
