Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I want her autograph on my taint
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Randomize
