Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Randomize
