But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
