Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Come see our sink grown plant.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Randomize
