porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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