I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Randomize
