And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
