Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Randomize