Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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