Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
