love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Randomize
