Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
