Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
birth control should be required to get into college
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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