ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
