I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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