Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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