Don't you send me to vm
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
