I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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