how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
