I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
