At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Shame is for Republicans.
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