If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
