At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
