She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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