I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
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