Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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