one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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