I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
