belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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