In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Mom said you looked used
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
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