your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Randomize
