i think my mom watched the whole time
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
