babies were throwing up all over the place
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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