you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
