Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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