69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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