I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
